Do you ever wish that you could cease to exist? I’m not referring to suicide.
I never want to harm myself but what if I could erase my existence?
What if I could disappear without a trace, as if I never existed?
I often look at my life and search deep down for a sense of purpose but I find nothing.
I usually try not to share this because I feel that the immediate reaction is to tell me that I matter.
I try to explain, but no one can really comprehend how I feel.
How could they? If I was not feeling it, I would not understand it either.
I often try to minimize it and I feel guilty when I am not able to effectively conceal my sense of dread.
I am currently in a place of deep exasperation.
I have tried to find a way out and yet I am still stuck.
No matter what I do, I always seem to end up with the same result, disappointment.
So today, I am taking a break.
I’m imagining the possibility of escaping my broken existence.